Hello and welcome to Director of the Month, your cut-out-and-keep guide to the very finest auteurs in filmland…

This Month: Dario Argento

Nationality: Italian

D.O.B: 07/09/1940

Years active: 1970 – present

Number of films (as director): 19

Do say: “You are undoubtedly one of the most influential horror directors of the modern era, if not actually the most. At the peak of your abilities you crafted an untouchable run of horror classics so powerful and dazzling that even sniffy serial detractors of the genre were compelled to doff their caps in your honour. But, y’know, who cares what they think, anyway?”

Don’t say: “Have you ever made a film that wasn’t scary?”*

*…and that’s just one of several insightful and well-researched questions that a not at all out-of-her-depth Kirsty Wark sprung on Argento during the most cringe-inducing interview since Serge Gainsbourg expressed a fondness for Whitney Houston. You can watch it here.

Who Hell He? If any film director has seen their stock rise dramatically in the last 10 or 15 years, then that film director is Dario Argento. And if any film director has deserved to see their stock rise dramatically at any time, then that director is Dario Argento again. Don’t get me wrong, horror fans have hero-worshipped the Italian ever since he made his directorial debut with the revolutionary giallo The Bird with the Crystal Plumage in 1970, of course. It’s just that it only seems to be fairly recently that Argento has transcended the often snobbish diregard afforded to his chosen genre, and garnered the praise he deserves for both his technical virtuosity and his cryptic, ingenious storytelling.

But, if people don’t like horror, then that’s their problem. I, for one, am sick of having my ear bent by Johnny-come-lately’s telling me how great Argento’s pictures look, and how brauva his use of colour and mise-en-scene is. We all knew this all along, didn’t we? And while his technical ability is certainly awe-inspiring, it’s just one of several elements that have contributed to Argento being one of the most revered horror directors of modern times. So, let us never lose sight of the fact that he is a horror director, and that his films represent the genre at it’s very, very best. As we shall now see…

Six of the Best:

The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970)

Everybody knows what a giallo is by now, don’t they? And this is probably the best film ever made that belongs to that peculiar and perverse, oh-so Italian, murder-mystery/horror hybrid genre. The Bird with the Crystal Plumage tells the tale of an American writer in Rome who becomes embroiled in the dangerous search to find a serial murderer. The scene-setting sequence in which our main protagonist, trapped between two sliding doors, witnesses a frenzied attempted murder, announced Argento’s arrival as a talent to watch in grand style.

Profondo Rosso (1975)

Two giallos later, Argento abandoned the horror genre alogether to make a Zapata Western called The Five Days, which failed spectacularly at the box office. For his next film, he returned to horror, but it was hardly with his tale between his legs. Oh no. Profondo Rosso is my own personal favourite horror film of time; a brutal, suspenseful, nightmarish beast of a film, that packs an almost intellectual punch, with the deviously creepy mystery at it’s heart. I can’t bring myself to classify it as a giallo, though, as it busts free of the confines of that genre, and points towards Argento’s increasing interest in the supernatural.

 

Suspiria (1977)

Argento’s most famous film, and another absolute masterpiece, Suspiria forms the first part of a loose trilogy concerning the bloody havoc wreaked by a trio of witches. Jessica Harper stars as an American ballet student who begins to suspect that something rather sinister is afoot at her dance school in the black forests of Germany. One of the most visually entrancing films ever made, the only thing as ghastly as the gory murders therein is the fact that it is currently being remade by a man who previously directed this. What a fucking joke…

Inferno (1980)

A follow-up of sorts to Suspiria, in which we learn the second witch is residing in a strange, neo-gothic appartment building in New York. The most non-linear film Argento has ever made, this floats from character to character with a beguiling, dreamy logic; the brutal murders that disrupt the free flowing narrative provide the main consistency. This found it’s way onto the infamous Video Nasties list in 80s Britain, as did Argento’s next film…

Tenebrae (1982)

Tenebrae is not necessarily the most violent film in the Argento canon, but it is appropriately enough the nastiest, and few have watched this to it’s nihilistically bleak finale without feeling at least significantly disturbed. A slight return to the giallo format, Tenebrae boasts one of the director’s most inspired mysteries, as horror novelist Peter Neal becomes obssessed with a killer who is imitating the murders in his books. After the dark, moody visuals of his previous three films, Argento also manages to blow our minds with his inspired use of surprisingly bright, glossy colours, and even finds time to throw in the most incredible crane shot this side of A Touch of Evil.

Phenomena (1985)

A bit of a curate’s egg, this one… Phenomena is almost certainly Argento’s most ridiculous film, but it’s also a sheer joy to watch, being a rambling, weirdy, defiantly surreal, supernatural romp. Jennifer Connelly (for it is she) stars as the lonely daughter of an American movie star, living in a Swiss boarding school. She doesn’t stay lonely for long, though, as she develops a telepathic bond with insects and helps a Scottish entomologist (Donald Pleasance, whose accent actually diminishes as the film progresses) solve a spate of local murders. And that’s without even mentioning the razorblade-wielding monkey!

What about the rest?: The Cat o’ Nine Tails (1971) is a cracking giallo which stars Karl Malden as a blind puzzle-maker-turned-murder-solver… Four Flies on Grey Velvet (1972) is an even better giallo, about a rock star who is framed for murder, which almost matches The Bird with the Crystal Plumage… The Five Days (1973) is a complete mystery to me as I’ve never seen it, and it’s unlikely that Dario Argento will ever let anyone see it again… Opera (1987) is one of Argento’s most dazzling films, as well as one of his most violent, and would be a stone-cold classic where it not for it’s unbelievably awful finale… Two Evil Eyes (1990) sees Argento and George Romero team up to deliver a pair of Edgar Allan Poe tales (one each), with sadly disappointing results… Trauma (1993) is Argento’s most underrated film, and his last great one, and sees daughter Asia make her debut as an anorexic teen tormented by the strange murder of her parents… and The Stendahl Syndrome (1996) is his most shocking film, a rather lumpen thriller in which Asia’s disturbed police detective is stalked by a sadistic rapist… The Phantom of the Opera (1998) is a patchy detour into period horror, and no, it’s not an adaptation of the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical… Sleepless (2001) marks a return to the giallo genre, if not quite a full return to form, but it boasts an intriguing plot and a great turn from Max Von Sydow… The Card Player (2004) is a so-so giallo with a techno sheen, as the police are preturbed by a killer who murders his victims during online poker games… Do You Like Hitchcock? (2005) is a dull murder-mystery which features some rather lame attempts at humour, but it’s still not anywhere near as bad as… The Mother of Tears (2007), which is a frankly appalling conclusion to the story began in Suspiria, which Argento would have been better off leaving unfinished… after that, how could Giallo (2009) not mark at least some kind of an improvement (even if it’s not actually a giallo, and is more of a weird Silence of the Lambs rip-off)?

So, that’s yer lot… But if you’re (blood)thirsty for more, you could do worse than check out the two Argento-directed episodes of his 70s Italian TV series Door into Darkness; ‘The Tram’ and ‘Eyewitness’ (the former is hands-down one of the best things Argento has ever done). Less good, but still worth watching, are the episodes he directed for US TV horror franchise Masters of Horror; ‘Jenifer’ and ‘Pelts’ (the latter does at least star Meat Loaf). Good night, and please do have nightmares. I think.

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