I have gushed about Gremlins on the pages of this very website before, of course. It was my favourite film when I was a nipper, remains one of my favourite films to this day, and will always be my favourite Christmas film.

I don’t know what that says about me, though. Does your Christmas film of choice necessarily reflect on you as a person? Does my saying Gremlins is my favourite Christmas film make me like those people who say ‘Fairytale of New York’ is their favourite Christmas song? You know, those people who are really trying to say “I associate Christmas with fighting and arguments and being drunk; ergo, I’m a right miserable shite”? Like I say, I don’t know.

What I do know, however, is that Gremlins is the most gleefully, maliciously anarchic mainstream film ever made, and the Yuletide setting gives former Corman charge Joe Dante even more sacred American cows to lance on his skewer. The fact that this setting also ensures it gets shown on telly at least once a year is a helpful bonus also, although bizarrely the film was originally released in the height of summer!

A very good friend of mine is deliberating over whether he should let his three-year-old son watch Gremlins for the first time when ITV2 show it in a few days. As much as I love the film, I chose to advise against it. Three might be a little bit young to see Santa getting mauled to death by a bunch of scaly little devils, or a nice mum being attacked by a violent wee beastie  in a Christmas tree. Then again, I absolutely loved it when I was only a little bit older than that. I’m still not sure if all this means I actually hate Christmas. Ho-ho-ho-hum.

Hate it or no, I have decided to give you, dear reader, two wonderful Christmas gifts. I’m sure you’ve already been bamboozled by the rather odd poster at the top of the page. Believe it or not that is the actual poster for the Polish theatrical release of Gremlins, which manages to be both more Christmas-y and precisely 20,000% more mental than the famous US/UK poster. Also, rather than leave you with a clip of Gremlins (which you’ve all seen a million times… and if you haven’t, watch it on ITV2), I’ve decided to show you a fantastic clip of Hoyt Axton singing a song. “But, who is Hoyt Axton?” I hear you cry. Hoyt Axton is the lovely, tubby man who plays the dad in Gremlins! I bet you didn’t know he was a top country singer too! Here he is singing ‘Lion in the Winter’ with Linda Ronstadt. Don’t forget to look under your bed, and all that…